How do leaders cope with uncertainty?

Did you know that research shows that people would rather have the certainty of knowing they were going to get an electric shock than worry about whether they might.   

Our lives are full of uncertainty, and for leaders, this is an extra challenge. Will those VCs invest? Will that big client come on? Will that big project pay off? Will your new hire do the job you so desperately need them to do?   

Leaders must be able to not just crisis-manage new challenges, but to feel skilled and competent in doing so. Those who can stay calm in these moments make far better decisions, delegate well, and move the issues on quickly and efficiently.  

I remember a client of mine explaining it like this. He said, ‘Now my mind is clearer. It’s like I have an empty space in my head; if a problem comes up, it drops in, but now I have the space to see it, work out the resolution and take action. Before, I’d have lost a morning, now it takes me 10 minutes.’   

If we are calmer and in good mental health, we manage these things easily.  

So why are some of us so bad at sitting in uncertainty? We all have a trait that makes us better or worse at managing it. Our ‘intolerance of uncertainty trait’ (they clearly didn’t decide to abbreviate that one). Think of this like a sliding scale. If we have a high intolerance, it means we really don’t like it; a low intolerance, we can manage it for longer. It’s not always a bad thing. For example, we want people who have a high intolerance of it to be our brain surgeons. We need them to react quickly and be pretty certain of their outcomes!   

For most people, though, living or working in an uncertain environment provokes a biological stress reaction, causing us to feel vulnerable. We tend to create certain safety behaviours that, although our mind thinks they are protective of us, can actually add to our stress and make things worse. These safety behaviours actually mean that we never learn we are safe and that, generally, things are okay. Safety behaviours might be holding yourself back in relationships, not taking job roles where you’d have to deal with uncertainty, not travelling, etc. They protect you by not engaging.  

But most leaders know that business is uncertain. Like stockbrokers, they have to be able to tolerate uncertainty all the time, and we see this especially in early to mid-stage start-ups.   

So how can you help yourself, especially if you have a high intolerance to uncertainty – let's put this in plain English; you hate uncertainty!  

Interestingly, one of the most common results I see in my work with clients is that when we clear their underlying emotional baggage, however small or big that luggage was, they become far better at sitting in uncertain situations, from not rushing into relationships to waiting for more data on business decisions or being able to make decisions on limited data. They begin to trust themselves more, trust that they will know how to react when something surprises them. 

I see a need for control – or an inability to be uncertain, in people who have had erratic parents as a child. I definitely noticed these changes in myself. The more work I have done on myself, the more I am able to sit with things while I give myself time to think, wait for more information or make much quicker and accurate decisions. I no longer need to control everything to feel calm (my safety behaviour).  

My advice is to do the work to clear what baggage you have that is hindering your natural calm self from showing itself, and if you do have a biological high intolerance, it helps you manage and work with that instinct, which naturally lowers it.  

Until then, try to sit with your feelings. Try to stay rational about the outcomes. Assume the best and only deal with the worst if and when you have to. Find a win-win in either outcome so you can truly be okay with another outcome.  

I’d love you to let me know how you get on.