What keeps you present in your life?

Sunlight cutting through a snow-covered forest, quiet, still, and completely present

A perspective on leadership, mortality, and the cost of losing connection to yourself

To keep me present across all areas of my life, I have a slightly macabre mantra: If I died tonight, would I be happy with what I did today?
Followed by, would the people that matter know I loved them?

That part, at least, is taken care of.

Having had health scares, lost friends, watched my mother disappear into dementia, and held my two-day-old baby while being told me they couldn’t guarantee he would survive, I have a strong sense of mortality. It brings a clarity about what matters, and what doesn’t.

When success creates disconnection in leadership

Many of the leaders I work with have lost that clarity. Not because they are failing, often the opposite, but because somewhere along the way they have become disconnected from themselves and, often, from the people around them.

This is usually why we end up meeting.

At that level, it’s rarely about capability. It’s about connection.
Connection to self, which shapes how you communicate, how you handle pressure, how you make decisions, and ultimately how you experience your life.

When that connection is missing, it shows up everywhere.

Because of the concentration of founders and entrepreneurs here in Cambridge, often referred to as ‘Silicon Fen’, second only to Silicon Valley for innovation, I see this more than most.

High-performing individuals, deeply committed to their work, often unknowingly trading connection for output.

The impact is rarely immediate, but it is significant. Relationships start to strain, decisions become confusing and life becomes exhausting.

How you live, shows up in how you lead

My aim for each day is to connect with others and, more importantly, to give back.
That might look like dragging a stranger’s suitcase across a tube station when they’re struggling, stopping to properly help someone with directions, or simply taking the time to speak to someone rather than rushing past.

If I’ve connected, if I’ve helped, then I can say yes to my mantra.

I find the concept of #outside work a little odd. My work is part of who I am, and who I am shapes how I work. The two aren’t separate.

When people only feel present or fulfilled in one part of their life, something is off.

Clear thinking, better decisions, stronger leadership

The work I do brings people back into contact with themselves, not just intellectually, but in a way that changes how they think, respond, communicate, and live. From there, decisions become clearer, relationships strengthen, and performance becomes more sustainable.

It’s not about stepping back from ambition. It’s about no longer paying for it with your life.

And when work is done, downtime is still important.

There’s something to be said for sitting in a dark cinema, chocolate in hand, watching Bruce Willis in Die Hard remind us he’s “just the wrong man in the wrong place… three times.”