I know when I’m leading well, because I’m sleeping well!
I used to have nightmares almost every night until my late 30's. I had them so much that I just got used to them. I could remember them in great detail too – much to the annoyance of those I insisted on telling. Now I rarely get nightmares and the worst is intense dreams when I’m hormonal.
How did I crack it? Simply, I just spend as long as necessary clearing out my unconscious mind. All that unresolved baggage, worries about not being good enough or whether I’d ever be successful, these were the dreams I had.
Naked at school/work dreams
Standing on stage with no idea what I was talking about dreams (quite like these ones now because I always ace the talks!)
It was Christmas morning and I’d bought no presents.
These are all stress dreams. My business coaching clients have these a lot – especially the naked one!
Sleep is a beautiful indicator of how well you are leading. If you sleep well, you likely have most things under control OR you have someone on your team who does! It’s not really about sleep routines, although those help. It’s about having internal peace in yourself. Your brain isn’t in panic mode about all the things you need to do. I know instantly I’m worrying now by my sleep. This week I had some intense dreams and I just paused and thought, okay, what’s wrong. The dreams were all threat related. I was worrying about an activity that each of my kids (should call them adults really) was doing. Over-protective and over-worrying as parents do.
We live in a world that wants to celebrate success through money, followers, how much you exit your company for, Forbes lists, etc. We all know it’s not true but it’s few that don’t buy into it.
It shows up in your sleep…
Can I rest without guilt?
Do I like who I’ve become?
Can I be alone in a room and feel free, not just distracted?
I love it when my clients finish their executive therapy because they are the truly successful ones. Their lives are calm. They are still wanting to grow their businesses but they are also focused on living their best life. Sounds cliché but it’s true. They’re the ones who’ve cleared out the noise in their heads and they sleep well.
They’ve done the psychological heavy lifting of clearing up their baggage. They healed the part of them that felt they had to earn love by being impressive. This removes their anxiety and sleep, true, deep rest, will come to them.
But when you build a leadership identity based on who you are, not just what you achieve, everything shifts, including your sleep.
Sleep well…