Success isn’t a role, it’s a feeling (and most leaders don’t have it)

You’d think that by the time you’re running a business, sitting on a board, or speaking on global stages, you’d feel successful. However, so many of my clients feel just the opposite! When you aren’t happy with yourself, then success is impossible. Success can only truly be measured by you, your values, and your sense of worth.

Many leaders feel like imposters even when they’re winning. Why?

I use a combination of executive therapy and coaching. Why the therapy too? I realised that every single one of the leaders I worked with had some emotional baggage that was holding them back from being successful internally. They all needed a bit of therapy, some more than others. If you think about it, it’s obvious. We are run 95% by our unconscious, and that unconscious is built from the moment we exist. Of course we will interpret things incorrectly when we are five! It’s crazy that these events are still running our lives, and our leadership, three or four decades later!

I work with high-level leaders every day. They’ve built big businesses, raised capital, navigated crises, and yet there’s a small but strong voice that whispers things like ‘I still don’t feel like I’m enough’ or ‘When will this pressure stop?’ I should know because I lived with it myself for decades. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to not have it anymore.

The shift happens when success stops being something you chase out there and starts being something you experience in here, in your body, in your energy, in the way you hold yourself when you walk into a room alone. I used to be driven to prove I wasn’t stupid. Now I’m driven because I want to achieve the success I have worked hard for.

So how do you come and find this beautiful space that I have?

Come and do the work. Clear out those childhood beliefs. Let’s be radically honest about where your drive comes from fear, rejection, childhood roles? We can resolve it. I love when clients do a powerful technique with me and feel that huge shift in their own value. You suddenly hear your voice, not your ego or your parents!

You can slow down knowing that doing so actually means you speed up. Stop treating your leadership journey like a sprint, do you remember how out of breath you are after sprinting? Because the ones who last the marathon are the ones who learn how to feel successful without proving anything.

This isn’t fluffy or woo-woo. It’s foundational, because a leader who feels successful from the inside out is unshakeable. They don’t perform leadership like a set of rules. They embody it. I often get clients from my speaking events and the feedback is: You are real, no bullshit, and you look really grounded. They want to match that.

That’s the work. And it always begins with you, just like the title of my book.

If your success still feels like a mask or faked, or that voice is still strong and powerful, ask yourself: Who am I being successful for? Until the answer is ‘me’, you’ll never truly enjoy the success you deserve.