Why power without inner peace is dangerous

We’ve all been watching the news headlines and we all have our own version of what is correct leadership behaviour. Powerful people are imploding all over the world. We jump from scandals to abuse of power, meltdowns, bullying, etc. It feels more like watching a school playground sometimes. 

I feel like the world acts surprised, but I’m not. 

I know that when people have power but no inner peace, only trouble will ensue. People who haven’t dealt with their inner turmoil – and who may not even be aware of it – still have the same worries and fears that you and I do. The problem is that rather than facing those fears and worries, they use their power to act out that emotional baggage. They use power to supposedly regulate themselves and often at the public’s expense. 

A person who feels shame or lack of self-worth will often put others down and belittle them to make themselves feel bigger. They pick on the people who are already struggling because they know or believe those people won’t fight back. Let’s think of all the pointless rules, regulations and wars that are going on right now. 

When leaders haven’t done their inner work, then leadership becomes about soothing their ego rather than having a benevolent approach. As a business coach and executive therapist, I come across people who say, ‘I don’t need people like you’ and I always think, that comment means you definitely do! If you can’t be kind to yourself, you will struggle to be kind to others. You punish or fire people who challenge you and you’ll build teams of people just like you. You will think everyone agrees because they are too scared to say no, because they know the consequences. 

Power isn’t the problem. Untreated emotional baggage is. 

I’ve coached leaders who built big companies from the ground up, but it doesn’t mean anything to them. They still don’t feel successful; instead they feel empty, and that emptiness is something they are desperate to fill, so they drive forward, misusing their influence to drive others forward too, but they still feel empty so the cycle continues. 

Because when you haven’t dealt with the root of your unhappiness – the foundations – you are just a bundle of emotional responses (even if you think you are very rational), and you will just project your beliefs and needs onto those around you. These affect your business, your family and your life. They affect every decision you make. 

I blend therapy with executives into my work because if you don’t remove the root cause… I can tell you, whatever is unhappy in you will find a way to shine through. It won’t always show in your words, but in your actions and the energy around you. It will show in your tone of voice, your micro-expressions, even your posture. Power amplifies what’s already inside, and if that is chaotic, then chaos will amplify. 

Finding inner peace and clearing your baggage doesn’t mean you’re soft – it means that you can see your flaws and you want to change them. You want to be a better partner, parent and leader. Moreover, though, you want to be happy and content. Your decisions will be fast and clear. Your strategy well thought out, and you’ll pull your team around you and let them get on with doing what they do best without interference. 

If you’re holding the power, my question is this: Are you the best person to be holding it? If the thought of not having it feels stressful or out of control, then you aren’t the best person. A true leader knows that it’s influence, not power – kindness, not cutting comments – that create true followers.