We often feel that visibly strong leadership looks like the person who is in control of the room and who is the confident voice. A lot of leaders still cling to that model because it feels good, we all love feeling in control, it looks efficient and it feels like the fastest route to a decision. What recent neuroscience has proven is much more fascinating.

Did you know research shows that most people would rather know for sure they’re going to receive an electric shock than sit and worry about whether they might? 

Uncertainty is woven into everyday life, and for leaders, that uncertainty is amplified.

Almost every leader I have ever worked with has an employee that they keep when they should either move their role or just let them go. They justify it by saying they don’t want to hurt them or that they are being loyal.

A client said something to me the other day that made me smile. We’d had a very honest conversation where I had to be blunt and tell her that an action she had taken really wasn’t the right one. It’s rare I’ll do this because mostly I leave clients to do what they think is right, but this was an area I have particular expertise in, and I didn’t want her to continue down the wrong path.

I laugh a little when I hear business leaders who still think that their emotional state isn’t tied to their business growth. After working with me, they laugh too! Most leaders avoid this truth bomb. Your business, your vision, your impact – can only grow to the level you’re emotionally available for. It’s a hard realism, and one that held me back too – that’s why I can laugh at it now. 

There’s a particular type of leadership energy that’s quietly disappearing. It’s quiet, understated, and it commanded respect automatically. It was kind, and it didn’t need to shout to be heard. It’s being replaced with loud, aggressive, authoritarian ‘leadership’. 

I used to have nightmares almost every night until my late 30s. I had them so much that I just got used to them. I could remember them in great detail too. Now I rarely get nightmares and the worst is intense dreams when I'm hormonal. How did I crack it? Simply, I spent as long as necessary clearing out my unconscious mind.

One of the biggest concerns that I hear from my clients is that their own mind chatter is exhausting. You know that voice that never leaves the room, not when you walk into a meeting, not when you land a seven-figure deal, not even when you walk away from the business for a so-called break.

Many years ago, I read that once a company gets to £100k, that the strategies you used to get there aren’t suitable to push you up further. There’s a ceiling of skills. It’s a tough pill to swallow. All the great stuff I did, won’t work anymore!  So, you know that part of you that got sh*t done? The version of you that could take anything life threw at them, the pressure, the deadlines, the chaos, and just get on with it? Well, it does have a ceiling, unfortunately

I've been having a lot of conversations with my clients recently about hierarchy. Whether it exists in the company, whether it should exist. Does it exist in name only, or not exist in name only? There seems to have been a move towards less hierarchical structures in companies and personally I don't think it works.

Most of my leadership coaching and business therapy clients are feeling stressed out. They feel the pressure, but feel they can't stop. Do you feel the same? Most of us spend our time rushing from one thing to the next. Life seems to be a continuous to-do list and we never get most of it done.

You’re already skim-reading this article, aren’t you?

I've always needed more sleep than most people. From falling asleep during night feeds to ignoring my own advice as a business owner, I've learned the hard way that sleep affects leadership, performance and decision making far more than we like to admit.