Do you know why companies put people on gardening leave when they resign or are let go? Yes, partly because they may take or reveal sensitive information. Really it's because companies understand contagious emotion. One person who feels very negative about a workplace can very quickly become the source of a lot of discontent.

I've been having a lot of conversations with my clients recently about hierarchy. Whether it exists in the company, whether it should exist. Does it exist in name only, or not exist in name only? There seems to have been a move towards less hierarchical structures in companies and personally I don't think it works.

Most of my leadership coaching and business therapy clients are feeling stressed out. They feel the pressure, but feel they can't stop. Do you feel the same? Most of us spend our time rushing from one thing to the next. Life seems to be a continuous to-do list and we never get most of it done.

You’re already skim-reading this article, aren’t you?

Today I pulled someone up on their behaviour in a public post, gently but firmly. In response to a light comment I made on a topic they were discussing, they replied making huge assumptions about my knowledge and with a very aggressive tone. I simply asked them not to speak to me in such a condescending way. I didn't get aggressive or retaliate, but just calmly placed a boundary around how I wish to be spoken to.

A client said to me recently how she’d heard the quote, ‘you write the book you need’ and how she had turned to her friend and said, ‘that’s Mari.’ In some respects she was right, and wrong about the book I’ve written – ‘It begins with you.’ I wrote the book I had needed way back when I began my journey. However, the new book I’m writing is a book I needed decades ago and yet, like the quote, it is the book I still need in some contexts and, as I’m now hearing, the one you may need.

I’ve been surprised recently by the number of leaders, both in the news and outside of it, who think that leadership is about control. I’m not going to get into politics here, but controlling isn’t leading—it’s dictating. The problem is that most people hate conflict and lack the skill set to manage it, so instead of dealing with the actual issue (or person), they jump to impose a rule or boundary that is unnecessary. This is reactive and is often based on an old childhood fear of conflict too.

Some days feel harder than they should, even when everything is going well. For leaders, this can feel like a setback, but often it’s a sign that your baseline has shifted and you’re no longer used to operating at higher levels of stress.

This week I had the same conversation with two of my clients. They are both struggling with a team member who they feel is deliberately being awkward. Here's the reality: most people are tired, stressed and have a lot of emotional baggage knocking around. Most people are stuck in their own heads trying to make their way through the maze of their own life. They aren't often thinking about you.

A little while ago I was having a big sort out of my cabin and all the paperwork and course notes we all tend to hold on to. As I worked through old files, I was reminded how much I struggled when I first trained as a coach. What I found next became an unexpected reminder of how far I had come.

Recently, I went on a hot air balloon flight. I'll be honest, it was a cold November day, slightly drizzly, and I had a million things I could have filled the day with. In all honesty, I didn't want to go, but as it was a gift, I went. On the way, a friend said something that completely changed my perspective: "What if this was the last time I ever got to do this?" That simple thought changed far more than my mood.

As many of you know, I am working towards world peace because I believe a good leader can change the world. I also believe great leaders come from those who focus on getting themselves into the best mental health they can. It might sound selfish, but my experience is that when people are genuinely well, their focus naturally turns outward towards helping others.

When I was in the Maldives 20 years ago, I haggled so hard over the wooden Buddha you see in the picture that the shop owner told my husband he wished I was his wife and took us for ice cream. Twenty years later, my two-year-old grandson sees the Buddha sitting with his head in his hands, crouches down to look at his face and gently asks, "Are you okay?" What makes a child so concerned for a block of wood?