You’d think that by the time you’re running a business, sitting on a board, or speaking on global stages, you’d feel successful. However, so many of my clients feel just the opposite! When you aren’t happy with yourself, then success is impossible. Success can only truly be measured by you, your values, and your sense of worth.

Happiness is the only human feeling that we don’t want to move on from. I remember reading that and thinking, absolute right, who thinks, well I’ve had enough happiness for today. Happiness and self-worth are the ultimate keys to a good life. Leadership follows so beautiful from them both.

We’ve all been watching the news headlines and we all have our own version of what is correct leadership behaviour. Powerful people are imploding all over the world. We jump from scandals to abuse of power, meltdowns, bullying, etc. It feels more like watching a school playground sometimes. 

We hear this term bandied around all the time.
“So and so is a great leader because they are so high functioning,”
“They get the job done because they are high functioning.”

So let’s get something straight, just because someone is high functioning doesn’t mean they’re emotionally healthy, in fact, it can be exactly the opposite.

You did it. You built the business, closed the deals, earned the achievements. Maybe you found a partner and had some children. Phew, you're happy! Others look at your properties, your holidays, your kids in private school, and all those fattening business lunches and they are envious. From the outside, it looks like success, but I know from my clients, on the inside it never feels enough.

One of the biggest concerns that I hear from my clients is that their own mind chatter is exhausting. You know that voice that never leaves the room, not when you walk into a meeting, not when you land a seven-figure deal, not even when you walk away from the business for a so-called break.

I was having a conversation with one of my clients this week. He was telling me that he had let someone go and that they were now working out their notice. This person had been the topic of a few of our sessions, as he was heavily woven into the company and a friend.

It took me a few years to realise that I constantly tried to fix everyone, both in and out of my work. There’s a difference between fixing and enabling others to fix. Weirdly it didn’t show up much in my work but it really showed up as a parent and a partner. I had a rubbish childhood so I grew up desperately trying to fix and make happy everyone around me until it became an established pattern.